The Lost Battle

After passing all those sleepless nights,shedding those 3 AM tears,and  playing the slideshow of our memories infinite times in my head, I had moved on. I had slowly come to terms with the truth that you are not mine to kiss good night and that you could never be. But let me just make it very clear to you, it was never easy. Every time I thought that I had finally conquered my emotional self, even the slightest reminiscence of you would toss me back to the beginning. And I had to go through all of it, all over again.

But you see,  I am a sedulous person. Every time  I was thrown back, I started again with more determination. Not because I did not love you. Oh I loved you with everything I had and as cliche as it might sound, I will keep loving you till my very last breath. But because you deserve every happiness of this world, which as unfortunate as destiny can make it, an emotionally wrecked person like me could never give to you.That this why I had begun this battle against myself. Even if required a part of me, or all of me.

But I was finally able to emerge victorious in a battle that I had waged against myself. I was merrily waving the flag of reason on the highest summit of my heart, until I saw you again.

The charming spark of your eyes, your hair which were always messed up, and the erratic expression on your face which generated an ecstasy all over my body, came in front of my eyes. I had suddenly lost the battle which was all won. Why did destiny always have unexpected things in store for me? Why always me?

I pondered and I still am pondering over this question as I am caught in a whirlwind of emotions, trying to find a way out..